Today we wont to publish the letter of one our client. This story for men. And we want to tell one more time that not to buy no presents to our girls before engagement. Only you can buy the flowers.
“Dating is always a challenge, but dating in Ukraine, especially Kiev, is even more of a challenge. Despite all the wonderful people in Kiev, there are plenty of people who will take your money and provide you very little or nothing in return. International dating in Kiev is a big business, with many companies throwing lavish parties to impress western men that they have access to all the beautiful women in Kiev.
As a western man, you have to decide the level of service and the type of environment that you want to engage in here. I am a sincere man, a decorated veteran, a retired Fire Chief, and the thought of being in a large room of men and women seemed too fake, too insincere, and too western for me to accept. I preferred to meet with a woman in a one to one setting, so I sought a dating agency that was more personal and sincere, and I found Luda’s agency.
Luda has decades of experience, and she is very sharp, so men understand this reality, she will help you, she will counsel you, she may even suggest to you some women, but she will not push you. I paid Luda for her services per date. I understand the value of her time, and the quality of her English. She is able to communicate easily with the women and myself, and able to resolve misinterpretations that are common when dating different cultures.
The first time that I used Luda, the dates were nice, and the women very proper, but there were very few connections between myself and these women. That was not Luda’s fault, I presented to her my requests and she sought to encourage the women who were interested in me to meet me. Luda also made some suggestions, which I also accepted. The dates are simple: generally a dinner or lunch date, where Luda acts as a facilitator on the 1st date and then encourages you and the date to consider more dates on their own.
Here is what I discovered about Ukrainian women:
- Very polite, but they don’t understand western men
- Very reserved
- Very slow to open up and be transparent – guarded
- 1st date is just a test to see if the person is real –
- Most women live far outside of Kiev, and a taxi can cost $40 dollars one way – Be prepared to pay for their transportation via round trip
- They will pick a nice restaurant – it is two fold – if you are serious they want to know you will treat them well – and they also love a good meal in a nice venue
- Some women will be very shy on the 1st date – but then use the additional dates to score gifts and money.
The last point is one of controversy and a result of the difference between cultures. These women make very little money, and as a western man, they believe that you have more than enough to share with them and that they should ask politely for these gifts because it shows your true intentions, that you have the means to help them, and because they just really like gifts. Ukrainian women are hopeless romantics – but are not very good at being romantic themselves, so don’t expect them to hang all over you.
Communication problems: A True Story
I met a woman with Luda for lunch at a local Italian restaurant. I immediately liked her. She was a good fit for me, and very attractive and fit. We wanted many of the same outcomes in life, and we agreed to a second date. This woman would cancel our dates twice because of her scheduling conflicts, and even at the last minute asked to meet with me, and that I should bring Luda. I was very busy with my own appointments and explained to her that I was busy, but she was persistent, and so I had my assistant reschedule everything that afternoon so that I could meet her again.
While in transit, she would text me politely to hurry to meet her because she had very little time for me. I had tried for days to communicate with her by text, and her current texts were starting to annoy me greatly. Luda also wanted me to meet her again, and I explained that I thought that I had made a mistake to come to Ukraine to date the women, as they seemed inconsiderate and selfish. I was ready to cancel everything, and never meet another woman from Ukraine. I have had many bad dates in Kiev, but very few bad dates with Luda; so when Luda asked me to be patient and just meet and discuss, I considered her experience and wisdom and agreed to meet this woman again.
I arrived first, as Luda was still delayed in local Kiev traffic, so I stood in front of this young woman who stood, smiled, hugged me and handed me a painting from her own collection of paintings as a gift to me. So here I am confused, sitting across from the beautiful woman who seems like the female version of myself, but with more grace, and we made small talk while we waited for Luda.
Luda arrived and the conversations sooned became very focused, and it was explained that my date wanted to discuss face to face and not over the phone, which is why she had not responded to my messages. I thought this was odd, but then the conversation moved into serious commitment territory and how my date would need to inform her parents of our seriousness, and that if approved, that I would need to meet them and present myself to them. I am sitting here, realizing that this woman has a set of traditions that forms her conduct, and that for her, speaking on the phone about these matters with her parents would be disrespectful to them, and that she needed to make this conversation in person.
At this point, a western man is thinking about the angle and how this could be just a scam for money, as the woman would ask for money for the trip and then never leave and just make an excuse for why the relationship could never work. I would generally agree with this ploy for additional cash, but this date refused money. She had money on her own. She never took a dime from me, and merely regarded the matter as something serious to execute for her family so that all would be peaceful.
I left that date even more impressed with this young woman. She was ready for a true relationship, and she also felt an obligation to her parents to respect their opinions and traditions. Whether the relationship works or not, the fact that Luda was able to salvage a potential life relationship that was about to be permanently destroyed due to cultural differences in communication and expectations is exactly why if you are a western man in search of good woman in Ukraine, that you should not only utilize Luda’s services, but consider her counsel and guidance, as she has a way of getting to the heart of the relationship between two people.
Dr. David Thompson (JD, DBA, LSSMBB, PM)”